Tonight, I see

Yesterday was the day. I walked past it, that barrier that I've faced for the past 4 years. It wasn't as I remembered it, nothing so spectacular, nothing worthy of an epiphany. Just some blue corrogated walls. With a bench that's too small - I can't sit comfortably.

There's graffiti on the edges of my soul, the walls. With names of people I didn't know. Names of people who don't know what went on here under this tin roof, facing the lake. The moon looked at me strangely, like it knew what I was thinking tonight. The question, why the moon looks a bit different every night. Not because of itself, but because of the sun.

There are reeds here, lining the lake. And some plants that prick me as I brush my fingers over them, I don't know what they are called. I didn't notice them four years ago when we were here alone. When the music played through the day, and even the night. When we pretended to make the music ourselves. When we lied to ourselves. When I lied to you.

It's different in the moonlight, calm as though it never happened. It's just a few hours before the sun rises.