Sun

I hate that words are never enough.

I guess that there must be something more than those little bits in soup and cereal that I haven't been able to grasp yet, or to compile - to construct in my mind or on a page.

Friendships seem to be trivial, surreal, everything peripheral and outside of this. This chair that I'm sitting in, this body I inhabit temporarily. For these past years I've been mindfully, carefully, fully twisted into believing that truth was in everything, and in all words that were attached to smiles. My friends, my loved ones, the people I care for the most. Who are they, really?

It is not that the truth was muddled, but just that I was, am, more blind than I would imagine a person without the sun would be. I guess fatigue makes the lens clearer.

It'll be a while before this clears up. It'll be some days yet, some hours and moments of brief reflection. Some collisions, some bad days and some days where I can't look anyone in the eye, even myself. But it will clear, it will. InshaAllah.

Oh how I am wary of my next steps.